I'll be performing at Mortified again February 8th and 11th. I'll be doing a brand new piece based on three journals that were written before the Metal Diaries. Don't worry, I still obssess about Steve Clark from Def Leppard...in great detail.
Hope to see you there!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Mortified This Weekend!
Hi fans!
I'll be performing from the Metal Diaries this weekend with Mortified at the Make Out Room. Details below!
IT'S SUMMERTIME! TIME FOR BBQS, BEACHES, AND LONG HOT ANGSTY CONFESSIONS FROM YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL TEENAGE ICONS! COME FEEL THE HEAT AT JULY'S ALL NEW MORTIFIED!
THIS MONTH WITNESS:MARK PHINNEY: Hear the true confessions from Mark's short stay in a mental hospital in Mark, Interrupted........
CYNTHIA BRINKMAN: Listen to a young girl's tale of her first kiss with a boy, quickly followed by her first kiss with a girl......
GEORDIE MARTINEZ: The real account of a young man's experiences in the navy during the gulf war as he struggles to find the meaning of life and a halfway decent prostitute.
HEZ ARONSON: Share the obsessed set of 5 diaries all dedicated to Def Leppard guitarist Steve Clark!
RACHEL WARNER: Here a young woman's thoughts on how the world should be run
PLUS THE FINAL PERFORMANCE OF ONE OF OUR GREATES TEENICONS: HEAR LORI FOWLER DISCUSS THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF BEING ON THE COTTON JUDGING TEAM!
ALL THESE AND MORE THIS MONTH FRI JULY 20TH AND SAT JULY 21ST
AT YOUR THERAPY/ COMEDY ESCAPE
MORTIFIED!
www.getmortified.com
MORTIFIED IS FRI JULY 20TH AND SAT JULY 21ST @ 8PM ATTHE MAKEOUT ROOM.
10 DOLLAR PRESALE
12 DOLLARS @ THE DOOR
TIX: http://www.getmortified.com/tix
INFO: www.getmortified.com
TIX ON SALE NOW AT :http://www.getmortified.com/tix
ORDER QUICK IT WILL SELL OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Hailed a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek and The"Today Show," featured in SF WEEKLY and 7 BY 7 MAGAZINE's "BEST OF THE BAY" and on This American Life, Mortified is a comic excavation of teen angst artifacts (journals, poems, letters, lyrics, homemovies, schoolwork) as shared by their original authors... in front of total strangers. As the largest and longest-running project of its kind, ourgrassroots comedy collective has spent years sifting through hundreds of otherwise forgotten notebooks while paving the way for a strange new brand of entertainment.
After all, where else can you hear grown men and women confront their past with first hand tales of their...first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom,l ife at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Bon Jovi? Submissions come from a wide range of participants, from professional performers (comics, celebrities, singers) to total amateurs (architects, ad execs, salesmen). All in the noble pursuit of self-degradation. Fueled by nonstop sold out live events across the nation (LA, NYC, San Fran, Boston, Chicago), a book with Simon Spotlight Entertainment, international media coverage, and intense word-of-mouth, Mortified continues to unleash its unique brand of angst onto the world.
Share the shame.
I'll be performing from the Metal Diaries this weekend with Mortified at the Make Out Room. Details below!
IT'S SUMMERTIME! TIME FOR BBQS, BEACHES, AND LONG HOT ANGSTY CONFESSIONS FROM YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL TEENAGE ICONS! COME FEEL THE HEAT AT JULY'S ALL NEW MORTIFIED!
THIS MONTH WITNESS:MARK PHINNEY: Hear the true confessions from Mark's short stay in a mental hospital in Mark, Interrupted........
CYNTHIA BRINKMAN: Listen to a young girl's tale of her first kiss with a boy, quickly followed by her first kiss with a girl......
GEORDIE MARTINEZ: The real account of a young man's experiences in the navy during the gulf war as he struggles to find the meaning of life and a halfway decent prostitute.
HEZ ARONSON: Share the obsessed set of 5 diaries all dedicated to Def Leppard guitarist Steve Clark!
RACHEL WARNER: Here a young woman's thoughts on how the world should be run
PLUS THE FINAL PERFORMANCE OF ONE OF OUR GREATES TEENICONS: HEAR LORI FOWLER DISCUSS THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF BEING ON THE COTTON JUDGING TEAM!
ALL THESE AND MORE THIS MONTH FRI JULY 20TH AND SAT JULY 21ST
AT YOUR THERAPY/ COMEDY ESCAPE
MORTIFIED!
www.getmortified.com
MORTIFIED IS FRI JULY 20TH AND SAT JULY 21ST @ 8PM ATTHE MAKEOUT ROOM.
10 DOLLAR PRESALE
12 DOLLARS @ THE DOOR
TIX: http://www.getmortified.com/tix
INFO: www.getmortified.com
TIX ON SALE NOW AT :http://www.getmortified.com/tix
ORDER QUICK IT WILL SELL OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Hailed a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek and The"Today Show," featured in SF WEEKLY and 7 BY 7 MAGAZINE's "BEST OF THE BAY" and on This American Life, Mortified is a comic excavation of teen angst artifacts (journals, poems, letters, lyrics, homemovies, schoolwork) as shared by their original authors... in front of total strangers. As the largest and longest-running project of its kind, ourgrassroots comedy collective has spent years sifting through hundreds of otherwise forgotten notebooks while paving the way for a strange new brand of entertainment.
After all, where else can you hear grown men and women confront their past with first hand tales of their...first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom,l ife at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Bon Jovi? Submissions come from a wide range of participants, from professional performers (comics, celebrities, singers) to total amateurs (architects, ad execs, salesmen). All in the noble pursuit of self-degradation. Fueled by nonstop sold out live events across the nation (LA, NYC, San Fran, Boston, Chicago), a book with Simon Spotlight Entertainment, international media coverage, and intense word-of-mouth, Mortified continues to unleash its unique brand of angst onto the world.
Share the shame.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Book II: Page 4
20.1.84+1
Steve,
Hi. I'm supposed to be studyin' for my mid year exams but I'll probably fail them anyways. I'm just copying down definitions for my vocabulary words. I don't get that upset about Ricker* anymore. I just think about him a lot though. I wonder how he's feeling and how you guys are all handling it. I think it should be reversed like how you guys are feeling and how Ricker is handling it. I hate school. God I can't wait til I'm done. Ow my legs hurt from sitting on them too long. I wrote another song called "Hellfire." It's sorta turning out that I am gonna be the word man in the band. Or I guess word woman. I don't care which one. I just don't wanna write songs co's I can't. The songs I write are just fair. They're not exceptional. Ya know? Yuck, the Who is on. I'm seeing my psychiatrist now. I think I told ya. She's got Rick Sav hair. I'm so mad. I want my hair to grow. I figured out that by June it will be long enough for a Rick Sav perm. But I'm gonna wait til the end of the summer co's then it'll be just a little longer. Oh yeah, I got Ker...oh I can never spell it...hold on. Kerrang! magazine and it's got a picture of Phil in a robe and slippers and he's playing his guitar and it's so funny. He looks so cute. I gotta babysit for 4 or 5 hours tomorrow co's...I forgot. Oh well. It's money. My parents are assholes. Were yours when you were 17**? Hold on I gotta go and eat dinner. Be back in 10 minutes.
I lied. It was 20 minutes co's I had to make some more orange juice to eat with my chocolate cake. It's around 8:15pm already and I gotta study til 10pm. Then Heavy Metal from Hell is on til 11pm. Then I'll go to bed, wake up, go to school, and fail my exams. I only got 2 exams tomorrow. Um, Science and Social Studies. Then on Tuesday I gotta take 1 more test co's I ain't got nothing for the second test and then on Wednesday I gotta just take one test. Whatever. I just got off the phone with Kymmer. She says hi. I'm listening to my Genesis tape. I seen them in concert for their Duke tour. Well I gotta go co's it's 9:30 and I gotta study Social Studies yet. God I can't wait til I am done with school.
Bye,
Love ya, Heather
* Rick Allen
**I must be inflating my age to appear um, not 14
Steve,
Hi. I'm supposed to be studyin' for my mid year exams but I'll probably fail them anyways. I'm just copying down definitions for my vocabulary words. I don't get that upset about Ricker* anymore. I just think about him a lot though. I wonder how he's feeling and how you guys are all handling it. I think it should be reversed like how you guys are feeling and how Ricker is handling it. I hate school. God I can't wait til I'm done. Ow my legs hurt from sitting on them too long. I wrote another song called "Hellfire." It's sorta turning out that I am gonna be the word man in the band. Or I guess word woman. I don't care which one. I just don't wanna write songs co's I can't. The songs I write are just fair. They're not exceptional. Ya know? Yuck, the Who is on. I'm seeing my psychiatrist now. I think I told ya. She's got Rick Sav hair. I'm so mad. I want my hair to grow. I figured out that by June it will be long enough for a Rick Sav perm. But I'm gonna wait til the end of the summer co's then it'll be just a little longer. Oh yeah, I got Ker...oh I can never spell it...hold on. Kerrang! magazine and it's got a picture of Phil in a robe and slippers and he's playing his guitar and it's so funny. He looks so cute. I gotta babysit for 4 or 5 hours tomorrow co's...I forgot. Oh well. It's money. My parents are assholes. Were yours when you were 17**? Hold on I gotta go and eat dinner. Be back in 10 minutes.
I lied. It was 20 minutes co's I had to make some more orange juice to eat with my chocolate cake. It's around 8:15pm already and I gotta study til 10pm. Then Heavy Metal from Hell is on til 11pm. Then I'll go to bed, wake up, go to school, and fail my exams. I only got 2 exams tomorrow. Um, Science and Social Studies. Then on Tuesday I gotta take 1 more test co's I ain't got nothing for the second test and then on Wednesday I gotta just take one test. Whatever. I just got off the phone with Kymmer. She says hi. I'm listening to my Genesis tape. I seen them in concert for their Duke tour. Well I gotta go co's it's 9:30 and I gotta study Social Studies yet. God I can't wait til I am done with school.
Bye,
Love ya, Heather
* Rick Allen
**I must be inflating my age to appear um, not 14
Book II: Page 3
18.1.84+1
Dear Steve,
Hi dude, what's up? I'm in my sucky algebra class. God I hate this class. Thank god it is my last week in here. Then I got alg. period 7 but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. Just you. I guess. Oh & my career. My English teacher is giving me more support than my parents are. The guy who runs the school, I forgot what he's called...oh yeah. The principle. He's sittin in the back of our classroom "observing" us. He's probably jackin off by looking at the girls. (heavy breathing) I love you! I love you! I love you! America is so confusing. I guess this whole world is. Well, I'm gonna go & day dream about you & Phil.
Love Ya, Heather
Dear Steve,
Hi dude, what's up? I'm in my sucky algebra class. God I hate this class. Thank god it is my last week in here. Then I got alg. period 7 but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. Just you. I guess. Oh & my career. My English teacher is giving me more support than my parents are. The guy who runs the school, I forgot what he's called...oh yeah. The principle. He's sittin in the back of our classroom "observing" us. He's probably jackin off by looking at the girls. (heavy breathing) I love you! I love you! I love you! America is so confusing. I guess this whole world is. Well, I'm gonna go & day dream about you & Phil.
Love Ya, Heather
Book II: Page 2
18.1.84+1
Steve,
Hi. I'm in a study right now. Let's see, it's 2nd period and I got 3 more classes then lunch then 2 more classes then I'm outta here to Kym's. Um I don't feel like writing but I guess I will. Last night I heard DL 3 times and it bummed me out. Then I listened to Metallica and Pink Floyd and Stanley Clarke and cried co's the songs were all sad. Then I think I cried myself to sleep. I can't remember. I had a dream about 'Leave it to Beaver.' It's this stupid TV show. I'm sure you've heard of it. I just realised that this kid sitting behind me can read what I've been writing co's the seats are elevated, like they go up higher each row like this (diagram). Sike, huh? Sike, 7 more minutes til the bell rings. Gotta go, Love ya Heather
Steve,
Hi. I'm in a study right now. Let's see, it's 2nd period and I got 3 more classes then lunch then 2 more classes then I'm outta here to Kym's. Um I don't feel like writing but I guess I will. Last night I heard DL 3 times and it bummed me out. Then I listened to Metallica and Pink Floyd and Stanley Clarke and cried co's the songs were all sad. Then I think I cried myself to sleep. I can't remember. I had a dream about 'Leave it to Beaver.' It's this stupid TV show. I'm sure you've heard of it. I just realised that this kid sitting behind me can read what I've been writing co's the seats are elevated, like they go up higher each row like this (diagram). Sike, huh? Sike, 7 more minutes til the bell rings. Gotta go, Love ya Heather
Book II: Page 1
18.1.84+1
Steve,
Yeah, another notebook. This one is just gonna be notes or letters co's...that's the way I wanna do it. Um, I'm in school now and I feel like leaving but it's cold. My parents aren't being too supportive about me being a musician. I got wall to wall pictures and my dad doesn't "like" it. When it was just the same fuckin' way in Rochester. My parents are such assholes. I don't feel good. I wish Eileen* was here so I could go to her office so I don't gotta go to class. Well, I guess I am gonna go.
Love ya,
Heather
*Eileen was the school counselor. It was well known that if you didn't want to go to class you could go to her office and hide out. It was also at this point I became a peer counselor...um yeah.
Steve,
Yeah, another notebook. This one is just gonna be notes or letters co's...that's the way I wanna do it. Um, I'm in school now and I feel like leaving but it's cold. My parents aren't being too supportive about me being a musician. I got wall to wall pictures and my dad doesn't "like" it. When it was just the same fuckin' way in Rochester. My parents are such assholes. I don't feel good. I wish Eileen* was here so I could go to her office so I don't gotta go to class. Well, I guess I am gonna go.
Love ya,
Heather
*Eileen was the school counselor. It was well known that if you didn't want to go to class you could go to her office and hide out. It was also at this point I became a peer counselor...um yeah.
The Inside Page: 1984+1
Written by Heather Clarke & Kymmer (Sav) Henry
They say you decided your own fate
A night of celebration, a new years date
You were so young
& havin' so much fun
They you lost control
& your car went towards the curb
Your life was on the line
Maybe co's of too much wine
Waking up in a hospital bed
Maybe wishing you were dead
Then you found out what was wrong
You promised everyone you'd be strong
But when they left the room
You wished your career hadn't gone so soon
Your temper raged, your eyes stung
So this is 1984+1
Tuesday night, listenin to the radio
Had to listen to what was available
You & the guys were on
Singing my favorite song
At the end the DJ said
He's still alive so don't lose your head
There was an accident that couldn't be helped
But that was not the way that I felt
They said you'd never drum again
It's your choice so it depends
I said it ain't fair
But no one seemed to care
I lost control this time
& the next morning around 9
I woke up in a hospital bed
A nervous breakdown they said
Whey does it have to be this way
Wishing the nightmare would go away
So ya gotta understand why I wrote this song
Face it co's it's 1984+1
Waking up in a hospital bed
Maybe wishing you were dead
Then you found out what was wrong
You promised everyone you'd be strong
You were young
& having fun
But now it's 1984+1
They say you decided your own fate
A night of celebration, a new years date
You were so young
& havin' so much fun
They you lost control
& your car went towards the curb
Your life was on the line
Maybe co's of too much wine
Waking up in a hospital bed
Maybe wishing you were dead
Then you found out what was wrong
You promised everyone you'd be strong
But when they left the room
You wished your career hadn't gone so soon
Your temper raged, your eyes stung
So this is 1984+1
Tuesday night, listenin to the radio
Had to listen to what was available
You & the guys were on
Singing my favorite song
At the end the DJ said
He's still alive so don't lose your head
There was an accident that couldn't be helped
But that was not the way that I felt
They said you'd never drum again
It's your choice so it depends
I said it ain't fair
But no one seemed to care
I lost control this time
& the next morning around 9
I woke up in a hospital bed
A nervous breakdown they said
Whey does it have to be this way
Wishing the nightmare would go away
So ya gotta understand why I wrote this song
Face it co's it's 1984+1
Waking up in a hospital bed
Maybe wishing you were dead
Then you found out what was wrong
You promised everyone you'd be strong
You were young
& having fun
But now it's 1984+1
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